A few weeks ago, after feeling pretty apathetic for a longer-than-usual stretch, I decided to visit my GP. I honestly thought I was depressed. He ordered a full round of blood tests to rule out anything easily fixable, and when everything came back perfectly normal, he referred me to a psychologist.

Not even halfway through our first session, she looked up from her notes and said, "Have you ever considered that you might have ADHD?"
Me: "Um… No? Do I look ADHD?"
Her: "Very. Inattentive ADHD."

I was like wtf lady?? I'd always thought ADHD was loud and chaotic—little boys bouncing off classroom walls, not awkward adults who forget what they walked into a room for. Not me. But as we talked more, things started clicking into place. Time blindness, the way I hyperfocus, my perfectionism, my pile of discarded hobbies that I was definitely going to do forever and I bought all the professional tools for it, and why can't I freaking remember anything that's said to me verbally???. The way I can spend hours tweaking pixel layouts but struggle to remember basic instructions or requests.

She gave me some self-screening tools to take home, and by our second session, she suggested I go and get a formal diagnosis and medication through Psychiatry. Turns out I'm also probably Autistic, but the cost of a formal diagnosis for that is spensy. Around $2000 out of pocket, with no real benefit beyond closure. So for now, we're leaving that one in the probably-but-not-formally-diagnosed category.

Now I'm waiting for Psychiatry to accept my referral and book me in for the official two-session assessment. Honestly though, I feel so free. Like I finally understand myself. Like there's a reason I've always struggled with things that are "supposed" to be easy.